Perspective

Hello again,

So I didn't do the second day of the Couch to 5K. The only reason is as I was about to leave to go and set off for the run, it began to rain. Like downpour. Which I suppose, living in England I should be used to it. But I did go for a wander into the city centre. The centre isn't far from where I live, it's about a 15-minute walk away.

It isn't about doing lots of 'exercise', it's about doing something, instead of nothing.

There was, however, a very pretty double rainbow. The picture doesn't show the second one very well but life is about how you look at things. You can choose to see the rain or you can choose to see the rainbow.

'When it rains, look for Rainbows. When it's dark, look for Stars.' 

Couch to 5K - Day 1

Day 1

Well, I did the first session. And because this is me and it can't be easy, just as I was about to start, it began to rain. But I prevailed and I did it anyway. So there, mother nature, I'm not going to quit at the first sign of it being hard work. Taking the easy route out never got no one anywhere.

There's a park near where I live so I walked there for the 5 minute warm up.

The first run was hard. I don't run for anything. Ever. I did about 45 seconds before I had to slow down.

The thing I have to keep in mind is that I might not be able to the full 60 seconds yet but if I keep going I will.

I couldn't wait until the 90 second walk break. It felt like forever between them.

Oh, I know I'm going to ache in the morning but Day 2 is going to happen, I'm going to do it.

"To Live is the Rarest thing in the World. Most people exist, that is all." Oscar Wilde.

Mental Health

Hello,

So, in my first post I mentioned that I struggle with mental health and a lot of people do. I find that there are a few ways that I manage it. A lot of the times, I don't talk about it to someone directly , I use it for inspiration for stories. I don't like talking to people if I have a problem and that might stem from the fact I have Social Anxiety and I can't talk to people.

Music 

Music is about 80% of my life. I don't think I have had a day where I haven't heard music or hummed or whistled or had something driving me insane because I can't remember what the nme of the song is. (That drives me insane because I know that I know the song but I can't remember the name.) I always have something playing either on my headphones or on my speaker/docking station. My taste in music is definity eclectic. (I like a lot of different genres). Listening to my plpaylist because we can start at P!nk, and then go to Panic! at the Disco, then to The Shires, who are an amazing UK country music band. I have been lucky enough to see them perform live. If you haven't heard of them, definitly check them out. I also love Ed Sheeran, Fall Out Boy, Lady Antebellum, Years and Years, Olly Murs, As It Is, Rag'n'Bone Man, Imagine Dragons, Thirty Seconds to Mars and so, so many others. I love sitting and going through my Ipod, listening to all the old(er) music on there. I love diving into some Enrique Iglesias. He can be my hero. <3

Singing

This is because I'm always listening to music. I find it almost impossible not to sing along to my music. Which can be a little awkward when I forget that I have my earphones in. I have recently been testing myself and singing in public at the restaurant/bar round the corner from where I live. And  feel so incredibly nervous before I go up, but after I feel happy that I did it.

Writing

I like writing. I feel like it is my most creative outlet. I use a lot of my feelings and personal experiencses and I feel as if I'm talking to someone about how I feel. I think this helps the most because im always coming up with ideas for stories. Only thing is, I never seem to finish them.

Reading 

I love imersing myself in a good book. I have a preffered genre. I'm not a romance person. It's far too cliched for me. I love a good crime, murder mystery book. I'm currently reading Raging Heat by Richard Castle. It's the fifth book in the series and I'm about halfway through reading it. I do have the next two waiting to be read. I also like comic related books/comics and graphic novels. This is a more recent thing and I have only really got into superheroes in the last year. So, I a two piece series, the Flash and Arrow. I can't wait to read it but I'm going to try and finish the Castle series first.

Drawing (doodling)

So, I can't draw, it's most definitly doodles. One of my favourites I drew when I was 11 or 12. Its a little bow. I really like it because it was a one of doodle I think I did it in science and I was really happy with how it turned out. It's 3D and the shading didn't ruin it like I thought it would. (Haha, I worked out how to add a picture.)

Laughing 
I have been really lucky, coming to uni, you kinda chance getting good flat mates and some really nice people on my course. We have a weekly game night and we go to events at the bar round the corner from us. We do a lot of quizzes and karaoke there. Game night normally consists of a lot of silly happenings. We play board games, card games, games from the app store. It does release a lot of stress and it is said that laughing is the best form of medicine.

So where did it come from? Because things happen for a reason. Personally, I think that mine stems from primary school. I was an awkward child, my cousin was in the same year as me and he was really popular and I never really felt that I lived up to him. At the time, I didn't realise that I didn't have to live up to him. I used to hide in the computer suite. The school let us go in there at break nd lunch time to play on the computers and I loved it but I never really socialised and that is the age when you learn how to make friends. So, I never really learnt how to do that. This carried on into secondary and into college. Because it started so young I've really struggled to grow out of it.I amd doing a lot better with it now and I do feel as if I made improvements when it comes to making new friends too. 

Welcome

Hi Everyone.

Yes, it is a new year, and you have probably heard that phrase. You know it. 'New Year, New Me'. Yeah, this is so not one of those. I'm all for we are who we are but I'm also for being our best selves. So, this year that is my plan. I am going to be my best self.

Expectations:
I expect that it will be difficult for me because I struggle to keep myself motivated. I start something but I never continue it. But I learnt recently that it can take as long as 66 days to form a new habit. I did research this too because you shouldn't trust everything you read without finding out where the information has come from, but anyway... new habits.

Couch to 5k.
I'm definitely more of the couch currently. But the plan is to change that and (positive thinking) I am going to get better. I can't really run for any amount of time at the minute, I can maybe manage about 45 seconds. This is fine. You should never push yourself too far as to where you are actually harming yourself more than you are helping yourself. The couch to 5k I am expecting to be difficult sticking to because I don't see it as something I would do, so this is going to be my challenge for this year.

Mental Health
Mental health is definitely something that has been talked about, especially in the last year. This is an amazing thing. Mental health is something that is so important to me because I have seen how it affects people and I have experienced it myself. It's estim\ted that 1 in 6 people suffer from some form of mental health. That's a lot of people. I'll admit that I never talked to anyone about it before and it made me very alone which then lead to push people away which then made me more lonely. This was a never-ending cycle. But in September 2017 I started University. I promised myself I would make friends, get involved and be overall happier. My main issue is that I have a lot of social anxiety. I don't like large crowds (ironically, I live in a city), I find that making friends is hard because I'm scared that they won't like me and that they will judge me. It can get incredibly overwhelming. I'll talk more about this in another post, about where it stemmed from and how I'm managing it.